acbajet.

Her > Me.

I just realized I’m just a rebound.

to him.

Hey joseph, i know it’s pretty late for me to be writing you a message, but i just need to let this out. you don’t have to reply back or anything. things have been different and i must admit three - four weeks nonstop talks with you has been pretty beyond marvelous. Now, i just can’t bare myself seeing your name on the facebook IM. It hurts knowing that we just stop talking like that, and things are becoming more awkward than before. But I understand, if things have to be like this now. Well, I want to let you know something, because for the past week, there’s never been an hour when you don’t pop up in my mind. Even when I’m trying my best not to think about you, I still think about how you are doing. Because… I really care about you. I really want to be a part of your chapter, not because I’m selfish, but because I want you to become a part of my chapter, also. You’re worth the pages in my story. It’s cool too, because I didn’t fall for you, joseph. I became your acquaintance friend first. We built on from there. into something I believe special. that’s how I know it’s different, because I understood you first before I somewhat became attached to you. I understand if I’m telling you too much, that’s my fault. All I’m trying to say is, I hope we keep in touch. You’re a great guy, joseph. Like I said, I’m glad I got to know you more. See you around, hopefully.

Love, ACBajet.

So I met a new guy..

After dance, I was running late, because I had to change and all that crap. I had like 2 minutes till the bell ring. I was all in rush. I went into class, and there was a new student. His eyes were set on me, when I came in, and continued for a few seconds till I looked away to say hi to my classmates.

He gave me chills.

I love you, and always have.

No matter what you did or I did, I could never love you less.  I tried to get over you, believe me I tried.  I remember every little thing.  It’s amazing how much I care for you no matter how much bullshit you put me through. Days passed, I lived.  Months passed, I survived.  I told myself I didn’t need you and that I’ll never fall hard for you again.  I even made myself believe I didn’t love you. Before her, before her, and before her too.  There was me.  I love you and it brings me to tears writing this.  I’m scared that I’ll never love anyone like this again, even scarier ?  I probably will never tell you how I truly feel.

Don’t you just hate it,

when a 3 hours call turns into a minute phone call?
when a full worded texts turns into short worded little texts?
when the word, ‘i love you’ doesn’t exist anymore?
when hun, baby, babygirl turns into dear, your own name, or no names at all?

It hurts.